Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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