and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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