I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
