There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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