With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
