guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
