I just made out with a guy for $7.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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