Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
