you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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