from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
