I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
