never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
