he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize