This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
