I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
