apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
