i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
