u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
