C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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