I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
