just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
