hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
