I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
