you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
