life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize