it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
