I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
