you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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