And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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