so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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