my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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