He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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