Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
