i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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