new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize