I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
