apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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