Sry I called you an 8
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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