Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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