why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
