we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
this is an emotional support booty call
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
