Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
