You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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