it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
