High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i think my cat just said my name.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
