My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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