so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
