her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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