Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
