So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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