It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
