did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
