I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize