Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
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