quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just found a bag of teeth...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
