1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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