I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
