question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
