I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Randomize
