So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
well I can't set my house on fire every night
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
