oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She said her name was "party"
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
