I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
