I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
